Author: sweetan0

Quarter Life Crisis After Graduation

Quarter Life Crisis After Graduation

Quarter Life Crisis After Graduation Hello. Yes, I am alive. Just ploughing through a period of doubt, negativity and uncertainty whilst living at home after graduating. If you’re going through the same, welcome to the quarter life crisis – you might be here for a […]

Origami Fun | All A Bao Creativity

Origami Fun | All A Bao Creativity

This All A Bao Creativity episode is all about origami fun. Origami is fun they say or so it is meant to be. Origami Fun Part 1 To start off, I attempt to have some origami fun by following instructions from this website. However instead […]

Rice Cooker Banana Bread | Miso Hungry

Rice Cooker Banana Bread | Miso Hungry

In this blog post I try to cook a rice cooker banana bread recipe. I say ‘try’ because as with everything in life, things don’t go to plan. However I persevere and manage to cook something half decent, thanks to my amazing cooking skills and my rice cooker that works.

The last time I tried to make bread, I used an oven and failed, kinda.

This time I try to use a rice cooker and follow this recipe.

I had to change some ingredients though since I don’t have anything at home. You can really tell I’m a regular at this can’t you.

rice cooker banana bread
My rice cooker banana bread baby

Instead of 100g butter, I used 100g of coconut oil which I was pleasantly surprised by. I virtually couldn’t taste the difference. All the taste for less the fat. I recommend you try it next time in your baking. Just make sure that you melt it beforehand.

Instead of 1 cup of all purpose flour, I used 1 cup of extra strong white bread flour. Again, I didn’t notice much of a difference or maybe I just have insensitive tastebuds.

Also, the recipe specified ripe bananas but the ones I had at home weren’t ripe. They were yellow as a daffodil. So I popped them in the oven at Gas Mark 2 (150 degrees celsius or 300 degrees Fahrenheit) for 30 minutes to blacken them up. This was the end result.

rice cooker banana bread

Here’s the new list of ingredients I made the rice cooker banana bread with, (using the same recipe):

Wet ingredients
  • 4 eggs, separate the whites from the yolks
  • 100 gram sugar
  • 2 ripe unripe bananas (about 200 gram), pureed with a food processor/blender, ripened in the oven for 30 minutes at Gas Mark 2 / 150 degrees C / 300 degrees F
  • 100 gram butter, coconut oil
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
Dry ingredients
  • 1 cup strong all purpose flour,  sifted strong white bread flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • ⅛ teaspoon a random sprinkle of salt

In the end, it was a yummy delicious rice cooker banana bread (*compliments herself*). What was really nice about it was the texture and moistness. Spongy and light, rather than dry and crumbly. There’s something about a steamed rice cooker banana bread that is way nicer than an oven cooked one in my opinion.

Oh and just as I pour the bread batter into the rice cooker, I remember that there’s an ingredient missing. It’s not on the recipe but it adds a really nice touch to compliment the banana flavour. I try to crush it with my butt and manage to add it last minute. Watch the video to find out what it is.

Oh the wonders of a rice cooker. I don’t usually make anything other than rice in my rice cooker but it can sure make a pretty mean rice cooker banana bread.

Next time I might try to make a frittata or chocolate lava cake. Let me know if you have any suggestions for the next Miso Hungry episode and I will consider it as long as it’s nothing celery or cucumber related (I hate them).

Alright guys, that’s it for Friday’s Miso Hungry blog post and my rice cooker banana bread, see you tomorrow for All A Bao Creativity!

Police Now Graduate Scheme | The surprising reason why I applied

Police Now Graduate Scheme | The surprising reason why I applied

Applying to the Police Now Graduate Scheme was something that I didn’t expect to do, hence why I applied a day before the deadline but something happened with a friend of mine that inspired me to become a policewoman. I mean yes I had considered […]

3 MORE ways to stay sweet around sour people

3 MORE ways to stay sweet around sour people

Hello my sweeties! If you haven’t seen the first 4 ways to stay sweet around sour people, check it out here: Okay once you’re done admiring my glorious pores in that video (yeah I know you guys loved the extra close up shot), let’s get […]

Common Asian Chinese Girl TAG | Dimsum Diaries Ep 6

Common Asian Chinese Girl TAG | Dimsum Diaries Ep 6

So I decided to do the Common Asian Chinese Girl TAG just to clear the air up a bit and let people know I’m actually Chinese and not Indonesian or Somalian. Athough (some) Chinese people don’t seem to think I’m Chinese, #rejectedbymyownrace. I explain more about that in the video:

As for now, I’ve decided to extend the Common Asian Chinese Girl TAG and add some questions of my own. Feel free to contribute your thoughts to these questions down below. Okay lets go!

Do you feel more western or asian? (Lol I don’t even know if that’s phrased correctly but you know what I mean)

I think a lot of people can relate to this when I say both. I feel too western when I’m around Chinese people and cringe hard at times *strikes the typical asian pose*.

At the same time with western friends I feel like I’m too Chinese, in the sense of my values or beliefs.

Ironically I can feel like I can relate more to people of other ethnic backgrounds, Spanish, Indian and Pakistani mainly as opposed to White or Chinese.

I like to say I am British born with Chinese roots and an international identity.

What’s the best part about being overseas Chinese?  

The best part is being multilingual I guess. I mean my canto is pretty dire but I am TVB fluent which does count for something so 😉

common asian chinese girl tag

What’s the worst part about being overseas Chinese?  

The worst part is that never ending battle with the parents who will never understand you. They were brought up in Hong Kong and even though they moved over here when they were young, they have stayed within their Chinese social circles and not properly ventured out or integrated into British society.

Either way, they don’t understand how I have a different mindset having grown up in England and expect me to be just like them. It’s shocking to think that they don’t really like if I date outside my own race.

common asian chinese girl tag
and they also hate how I have short hair too

What was it like growing up as an overseas Chinese?   

It was fine to be honest. I think I live in a good area so I haven’t experienced much racism. Just the occasional ‘ni hao or konnichiwa’ cat calling. Happened last week actually, in Chinatown. I just stuck my middle finger up at him and he laughed. Idiot.

common asian chinese girl tag
People say I look more Chinese with my short hair

Other than that, I normally just ignore people but there is an exception. I remember one time I got really pissed off (teenage hormones) at this boy who mockingly said to me ‘konnichiwa’ at my local convenience store. I took this as an invitation to a war on behalf of all Chinese people that aren’t Japanese, and started on him.

via GIPHY

He didn’t really know what to say but the thought of his existence continued to piss me off throughout the night. Silly anger I know. My dad later told me not to answer back to people since I am a young female girl living in a dangerous world with the risk of attracting the wrong people to stalk me home if I did that.

Nowadays I’m the opposite though, I’m way too calm haha. I should be more angry when guys do weird things, like that pervert in my last Hong Kong video. Eurgh he was such a disgusting knobbly nosed rank ass.

Anyway another thing about growing up as an overseas Chinese is having something what I call a Chinese inferiority complex.

I’ll talk about it in more depth in another blog post and video but essentially I always felt ugly…’cos I had a big nose and didn’t fit the Western standards of beauty. Nose pegs anyone???

common asian chinese girl tag

I remember someone once saying that I was pretty and I just automatically replied ‘but I’m Chinese’.

I had been told I was ugly when I was younger too, so that didn’t help.

Either way now that I’m older I’ve learnt to embrace, accept and love myself unconditionally, big nose or not hehe

What about you guys? What are your experiences of growing up as an overseas Chinese?
UNEMPLOYED AFTER GRADUATION? 3 more reasons why it’s amazing to be an unemployed graduate

UNEMPLOYED AFTER GRADUATION? 3 more reasons why it’s amazing to be an unemployed graduate

UNEMPLOYED AFTER GRADUATION? 3 more reasons why it’s amazing to be an unemployed graduate Unemployed? Nah, I prefer to be known as Chief Procrastinator at Netflix.  Being unemployed after graduation is one of those amazing things that can happen to you in life. Heading out […]

Chinese New Years Resolutions | THE ONE THING I NEED TO CHANGE ABOUT MYSELF

Chinese New Years Resolutions | THE ONE THING I NEED TO CHANGE ABOUT MYSELF

Chinese New Years Resolutions | THE ONE THING I NEED TO CHANGE ABOUT MYSELF It’s that time of the year again, Chinese New Year! Or if you’re not Chinese, almost a month has past since you’ve made your New Year’s Resolutions in January. Fear not, for […]

Feeling disconnected

Feeling disconnected

Feeling disconnected

Hi, it’s me again. And yes, it’s been a while. (And yes, it is weird for me to talk about my feelings as I am the type of person that will ignore feelings are they aren’t ‘useful’. However I thought it’d be good to jot them down here to declutter my brain and release my mind of somewhat stress.)

I often find myself getting stuck in ruts periodically but I think feeling disconnected is only natural. Life ebbs and flows.

The problem is not letting my feelings get in the way way of what I need to accomplish or do. Sometimes I let my mood dictate what I do – and that’s not good.

Why I feel bad 

I haven’t uploaded since last week and I feel so bad about it. Since I’ve come to Hong Kong I’ve only uploaded the Causeway Bay vlog and the initial arriving to HK video. I’ve been filming lots and lots but haven’t got around to editing it all. I was meant to upload 2-3 videos per week but haven’t been disciplined enough to do so. Just been spending time with family here and just going with the flow but not taking control of my own life and schedule.

feeling disconnected
my last video

But what if I just don’t feel like it? Well tough you might say (but that wouldn’t be an empathetic thing to say would it ha)

It’s a cycle

Through my bouts of demotivation I’ve noticed that there’s a pattern that reoccurs. A feeling of emptiness washes over me in waves and consumes me. A feeling of hollowness inside. A lack of purpose, a lack of connection with the world, the feeling of being disconnected.

I wouldn’t say feeling disconnected is linked to loneliness but then again maybe it is. I’m not quite sure. I just feel like an outsider, a lot.

And every time this happens, I end up emotional binge eating (lately not so much), staying in bed until late hours of the day, watching of crap tv, as if I am desperately trying to find some meaning or purpose in life through mindless activities.

But I never find a purpose that way, yet I still do the same thing repeatedly. I guess I never learn do I? But how do I stop feeling disconnected?

In the end the only way I climb out of that rut is by being so disgusted at myself for being so lazy that I decide enough is enough. Or yet, the emotional support and strength someone else gives me pushes me forward and motivates me to do something.

feeling disconnected
My sister has been revising for her a levels which reminds me of how lucky I am that I’m not doing a levels :p Need to make the most out of the time I have now to do stuff

So why is today different?

The reason why I’m actually writing this outpour of brain stuff is because I actually woke up early for once! I am actually so proud of myself 😀

I’ve been to Hong Kong for 1 month and I’ve had a really messed up sleeping pattern, plus I didn’t actually end up getting sleep one whole night either but that’s for another blog post.

My sleeping pattern has consisted of me living in the UK time zone, as I explain in my latest video. So that basically meant be sleeping at 7am HK time (11pm UK time) and waking up at 3pm HK time (7am UK time).

You see if I was living in UK, I’d be really good cos waking up at 7am is ace for getting stuff done. Except I was in the wrong time zone yep.

feeling disconnected
Being ill recently hasn’t helped with my productivity levels either

The (temporarily) unfortunate situation today

So I woke up at 9am today and got out of the house before 12pm only to find that the library was closed…until 1pm. Today it’s open from 1pm-9pm.

Got here at 11ish and was going to head to a cafe but I can’t be bothered haha. Well it’s more of the fact that I’m gonna have to pay too. The fact that I don’t have an ongoing income means that it’s best to save money whilst I can.

I mean it’s also different here too. The substitution effect is higher. A cup of coffee costs more than a bowl of noodles… In fact twice as much. Starbucks venti frappuccino is like $50 and a bowl of wonton noodles down the street is only $25. Which would you prefer to get? You can already guess mine.

It’s currently 12:30, so 30 minutes to go.

snapchat: sweetandsouradv

Things never seemed to fit anyway…

I remember several instances when I was younger of feeling so detached. I supposedly shouldn’t have felt that way. I was surrounded by family, by friends yet it just somehow didn’t fit. Things just didn’t fit.

The way I saw the world was different. Thinking about this retrospectively, I can associate my feeling of emptiness with Victor Frankl’s theory of logo therapy.

As humans, we yearn to find a purpose in life to fulfill our existential self. Without a meaning in life there is no reason to live. More specifically, the human soul cannot rest. Inner turmoil and conflict ensues as a result.

This leads me onto the purpose of this blog/vlog, Sweet and Sour Adventures and my YouTube.

When I film videos and YouTube, everything that I just wrote about magically disappears. That is to say, there is no feeling of emptiness anymore.

I feel rooted and connected with the world.

I am no longer feeling disconnected.

I feel elevated and happy.

feeling disconnected
flight to Hong Kong travel vlog | it’s been 7 years

BUT

The only thing is that I can put a lot of pressure on myself. Perfection kills creativity. And that’s when I start getting in a rut again.

Other people may find purpose also through creating but also other things such as family, giving, sharing.

Too often than not I find people seeking meaning through means of material possessions: money, shopping, superficial things. Whilst it appear to seem like any of way of finding a meaning, it is only temporary and can often exacerbate the feeling of emptiness. The same goes for how I binge eat to find meaning when I’m stuck in a rut – it’s temporary and when I finish eating, I often feel even worse.

For those of you that know me, you will know that I have lost weight over the past couple of years and I whilst I say that I emotionally binge eat when I am stuck in a rut, it is way less that it used to be in portion and frequency.

feeling disconnected
y’all know I LURVEEE a good takeaway

I have been binge eating less and less since 2 years ago, since the time I began to discover my passion for creating videos and editing them. Coincidence? I think not.

I am learning to deal with my emotions and thoughts, rather than listening to them. They are not the enemy, as long as you can control them (through meditation).

As such, eating whilst you’re feeling down or feeling stressed isn’t the right way.

Food is food. It cannot give you fulfilment in life. That you have to find yourself. And that’s one of the hardest tasks you’ll ever give yourself.

What gives your life meaning?

Afterthought

Feeling disconnected?

Life is a journey of self discovery. You are constantly in search of yourself, forever changing, forever growing.

To become more self aware, I suggest that you begin taking a personality test called the Myers briggs test. It tells you ‘your’ strengths and weaknesses, ‘your’ hobbies and ideal careers, all to be taken with a pinch of salt of course. Then read your results, analyse and reflect upon your personality.

Take it a couple of times to get the best result. Take different ones too.

The best remedy however is to travel. Travelling feeds the soul with more food than you could ever get by staying in the same place.

It not only moves you to somewhere else physically but metaphorically, sending you on your way to your journey of self discovery.

Which is why I love travelling so much and why I like to film videos, about travel.

The practical stuff: how I actually got off my ass this morning and stopped feeling disconnected

  1. Set my alarm on my phone at a reasonable time – 9am. My ideal time is to wake up at 6am but it’s not realistic because I’m definitely way too tired to get up then and will always fall back asleep. 9am is reasonable because I’ve had about 7 hours sleep.
  2. Put my phone far away from my bed to prevent myself from just snoozing and going back to bed.
  3. Forcing myself to do meditation as soon as I switched off my alarm, to stop myself from falling asleep. Although sometimes I do fall asleep during meditation, lol.
  4. Had an okay nights sleep, wasn’t in that much of a deep sleep thanks to my sister kicking and scratching me with her toenails. No seriously thanks haha that allowed me to wake up this morning. Tip: share a bed with someone else 😉

Do you have any tips to share?

Suggested: STUCK IN A RUT // 7 WAYS TO GET UNSTUCK

Chinatown Birmingham

Chinatown Birmingham

Chinatown Birmingham In this episode, I head to Chinatown to satisfy my food cravings. Unfortunately my favourite restaurant Topokki was packed so I decided to risk it and try something new. It would be a decision that I’d later regret.  Min Min Noodle Bar, Chinatown Birmingham […]